literature

Is it salvation or a nightmare

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pixie-chan-bleh's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Hear the sounds of the piano
Imagine a faraway place
Where the grass is green
The scent of the wind is sweet
And the sun filters through the branches

Secluded, cut off from world's worries
No war, no money, no power, no hunger
No desire, just peace, just the truth
No pain, no ties, no love, no joy
Just the warmth of the sun
And the coolness of the ocean's breeze

As a sudden splash of water hits upon your face,
You have yet to give a reaction, your feelings have left you
You are no longer a human, this peaceful scene is nothing
But a nightmare, where you can no longer feel joy, feel love, feel pain
Done while listening to the song - Coldplay - Postcards From Far Away :)

I would love feedback on how well I portrayed my imagery, and if you understood the point of the poem.

Is the structure unusual?

Basically all I really want to know if it was a good read or not and if I wasn't how can I improve.
© 2010 - 2024 pixie-chan-bleh
Comments19
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NewsBulletin's avatar
I like your use of listing in the second stanza..it contrasts so well with the simplicity you describe :heart: